Today in one of our didactics (fancy word for ‘classes’), our leader taught us about three important aspects to being a good chaplain: immediacy, spontaneity, and transparency. While at first they look like big, boring words, they’re actually quite fascinating once you break them down. Here are my confessions on each of the three...I wonder where you stand on each of these:
First, immediacy. It may sound like this means how quickly you can get to a patient’s room after being paged (I’m young, I can move quickly!), but really it has more to do with your gut. In other words, it is the ability to recognize our own emotions and feeling them immediately. For those of you who know me well, you may know that in conversations I am always saying, “I feel like, I feel like…” I say it so much that my brother used to make fun of me (and my friends) for always talking about our “feelings.” But the tricky part for me is that while I talk about my feelings all the time, it really is a feeling of the head rather than the heart or the gut. The teacher of our didactic said ‘immediacy’ is difficult for people to do who are ISTJs (these four letters come from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator – I would highly recommend you go online and take a test to see what you are!). I am an ESTJ, so I resonated with our teacher and realized that I really do have trouble figuring out my emotions immediately. I am often thinking back in my day and thinking, “Oh, that’s what I was feeling.” If I get in an argument with someone or leave business unfinished, I have trouble focusing on the present task – I guess it’s all part of being an ESTJ. Sometimes I find myself in a funk until I can process my feelings from a conversation earlier in the day. So at this moment, I think I am not succeeding at my immediacy in chaplaincy.
Second, spontaneity. If we go into a patient’s room with an idea of what we hope to accomplish, we will ultimately fail as a chaplain. Instead, we are taught to trust our spontaneity. What we mean by that is learning how to trust the spontaneous thoughts that come into our mind and saying them aloud. Some of my best visits with patients are spontaneous visits where I just went into someone’s room and let the conversation come to life. Those of you who are Christian would call this the movement of the Holy Spirit. I think I am ok on this…still working on it…
Third, transparency. This involves telling people what you think rather than having a hidden agenda. This piggy backs off of spontaneity, reminding us that if we are honest about what we’re thinking and able to bring that into conversation, we are able to connect with the patient and meet God in those rich, tender, unrepeatable moments. I live for this – this is where theology comes to life for me. While I can't always pinpoint my feelings in the moment, I can certainly pinpoint my thoughts.
I feel like (yes, here I go again with my “feelings”) out of these three, I am the best at transparency. My friends remind me that I don’t really have a game face, and that I can usually say what’s truly on my mind. I just have to make sure it’s always used in a constructive way. I am ok with spontaneity…not great, but improving. Where I need to work is immediacy. I need to know how to trust my feelings in the moment. I will get there…I have to keep educating my gut on this. Hey, I have a year to figure it out!
What about you?
OhmygoodnessChaplainCarswell!Thisismarvelousexcellentfantastic!Hopeyou'redoingwell!
ReplyDeleteI did a unit at TGH last summer and it was phenomenal I would even say life changing. Joshua alerted me to your blog which is great. I encourage you to keep it up. Cellion used to say that when he goes into a room he "knows nothing". The major lesson I learned over the summer is that a preoccupation with the message of Christ can get in the way of being the presence of Christ. Be Blessed!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Joshua, where would my life be without you in it? I miss you!! Ron, so good to officially "meet" you. I assume that you're the guy wearing the big black robe in all the pastoral care pictures like Joshua used to wear? If so, I know your face! Thank you for your word that Cellion shared with you. Such wisdom in it...take care, both of you.
ReplyDeleteJenny,
ReplyDeleteI took the free test and found out I am an ESFP type person. Here are two examples in my life dealings with hospitals that pertain to spontaneity and transparency.
Spontaneity: When Big Wes was ill with leukemia, the hospital chaplain visited often. I had brought in a red Guatemalan Dream Blanket that your Grandmother Martha bought on one of her visit in Guatemala. Wes liked it, and the doctor told me to bring in things from home to help with the long hospital stay.
The Chaplain was a missionary at one time in Guatemala and was amazed when he recognized the blanket. He told me this was the first time he saw this kind of blanket since he left Central America. I was particularly cautious around preachers, chaplains, and such. He reached me by explaining the traditions behind the Mayan blanket, which proved to me he was an open minded and a genuine person. He could of given me the “this is a heathen blanket”, but he didn’t by showing respect to the Mayan culture. This was spontaneity to the fullest. He had no clue if I or Wes had any kind of belief system, but he broke the ice and gained our confidence by connecting to that blanket.
Transparency: I learned a long time ago, that if you speak up, tell the truth, and compassionately say what is on your mind; you can nip a lot of issues in the bud. Or try to at least... I ran into many hidden agendas while traveling to different hospitals while Wes was ill. What really annoyed me was when ministers of some of the churches would come in and try to lay hands on Wes to cure him. Wes loved the attention, but after a few tries and a lot of Bible thumping, I would lose my patience and send them packing from the room. This of course enraged the different groups and the name calling would begin as they told me what they thought of me and where I would end up going after I died. I would absorb the chaos and let them preach to me for hours on end, just so Wes could get some rest. I always joked that these folks were looking for a miracle to put on their preacher resumes.
One time a lady who represented one of the local churches came in, and tried to heal Wes. Wes wasn’t feeling very good that day and told her he “didn’t want to play today”. Of course this insulted the lady who quickly told Wes that God had put him on his back to make Wes look up to God and repent all of his sins. She informed Wes that he was a sinner, and that was why he would end up dying from his disease.
When the doctors found out about the all-around shenanigans, the only church representative that could come into the room was the hospital Chaplin. If the hospital Chaplin didn’t have transparency like the rest of the zealots that tried to prove a point, Wes and I would had been in a sorry state without any religious guidance through the ordeal of Wes’ illness and ultimately, his death. God sent the hospital Chaplin to Wes. The Chaplin guided us, prayed for and with us, and showed compassion to us through a very trying time.