What happens when God calls you to be a chaplain?

I have mentioned this in prior blog posts, but as a reminder, I never in my life felt a call to hospital chaplaincy.  The closest I got to hospital visitations as a child was sitting in the hospital lobby or the gift shop while my dad went and visited with patients.  I do remember going to a hospice house (the only time I’ve been to one) to visit one of our long-time church members, Peggy Spaulding.  I was probably around 10 years old.  I walked in the room and saw someone who looked nothing like the Peggy I remembered – it was then that I learned what cancer can do to someone.  We hugged her goodbye.  She died the next day.

Once I felt my calling into ministry, I knew…or rather I thought…that God was preparing me for parish ministry.  I thought I would serve a church and serve as either a solo pastor or one of the pastors on staff.  What I found on the flip side of seminary was a calling as deep and as rich as my calling to go to seminary: my calling to become a chaplain.  A chaplain?!?!  Seriously, God??  Why me?  I don’t like blood, death, or the smell/look of hospitals.

I faced my fears and through the beautifully woven grace of God, I began to become more comfortable in ministering to those around end of life issues, traumas, code blues, the death of adults, children, babies...  I also stopped being afraid of walking into the unknown with every hospital visit.  I now become energized by the unknown: who will be in the room, what stories will they have to share, will they wonder who I am and why I am a chaplain, will they become vulnerable in our conversation and be willing to dig deep, how will I minister to them strictly based off their experience, how will God make Godself known to them in the brief, sometimes only, encounter I have with them?

Friends, believe me when I say this: at this point in my life, I feel called to be a chaplain.  It is a work that brings my heart and mind to life and seeks to resonate with the broken and grieving hearts of others.  It is indeed an art more than a science.  It means taking risks.  It means sitting in the silence of the conversation when the untrained mind may be telling you to speak up.  It means sticking with those patients who initially want to throw you out of the room.  It means going to work every day with the understanding that you have no idea what you will see, hear, smell, touch, or experience.  It  means moving beyond the small talk into deep, meaningful curiosities about life, death, pain, suffering, denial, family dynamics, faith, emptiness, etc.

Why do I share all of this with you?  The question now comes into play of whether or not I need to serve as a pastor in order to become a more ‘well-rounded’ chaplain, particularly a chaplain supervisor.  I listened to and wrestled with others in our department on the question of whether serving as a chaplain, particularly on the supervisory route, is done best when first serving as a parish minister.  (I want to be very clear that I am not trying to say that anyone I spoke to about this is right/wrong, but I think the question is one with which I/we should struggle.)  I have to question the model that chaplaincy is only a calling that can come when one becomes done, or even burnt out, with the church.  What if you feel called to be a chaplain at 26 instead of at 62?  I know that serving in a church, whether I ended up enjoying it or not, could teach me a lot about life.  But can’t chaplaincy do a similar thing?  I am an ordained Minister of Word and Sacrament - it just might look a little less “traditional” than being a parish minister.

Is the pulpit the only bridge to become a well-rounded chaplain, particularly within the supervisory role?  Or is that bridge something we have created by our own experiences?  Am I being too naïve in thinking that I can succeed in this work and help other chaplains grow in their experience without ever ‘officially’ serving as a parish minister?  How do we respect the experience of those older and more experienced than us without ignoring or denying our own experience?  I do not know the answers to any of these things, but I am definitely exploring them right now and covet your insights.

The question still remains: What happens when God calls you to be a chaplain?  I’ll have to get back to you on that...but know that it’s been a pretty amazing journey thus far.